Absolution

every second spells a razor in skin
threading on cold frail ice so thin
tattered wounds never healing
fighting a struggle I will never win

odd thoughts riddle my heart
doubting certainties of laid realities
be it the queen of diamonds or of spades
neither bear the honest red key

please lift me up & hear me cry
a dark disguise when you see me smile
blanket my anxiety in the endless eclipse
but don't see me tear when I'm all I fear

run run run!

you make me nervous when I see you
I can't imagine what it's like to be you.
it's a mystery to me every day
and I've got to get away

your lips are trying to say
but something i cannot hear
at such a lovely time of this year
i'm sorry I've got to get away

i know you got your reasons
i don't doubt what's on your table
we'll always want what we can't bite
neither can we run nor hide

memories seep from my pain
now tell if i still have to try
i'm too a broken to even cry
so sorry I've got to get away

Day dream

i can't see the sun
and the stars refuse to shine
so i stare out of my window
blue raindrops sing out my sorrow
rainbows fadin, roses grow
lend me your hand
eh why so cold?

A Bittersweet? Heart

can't you see I'm choking on all my sorrows
everything that you had to steal and borrow
blinding all the days we had before tomorrow

ceaseless feedings of despair
have you had no mercy
for leaving me in this misery hole
and help! help! I cried
as my cries decay into silence
and so has my heart turn grey

little knives leaving ugly scabs
bleeding from all the denials
leaving me void of any love

but moments pass and moments go
and it is time for my heart to grow
to find myself of a soul
keeping this heart from turning cold
I then realize
that angels cry when stars collide
cause there we were just right beside
pouring smiles of sweet delights

for so long I have hid my heart
inadvertently I'm left to wonder
if you're an an angel sent from above
to mend and heal my ugly scabs
or if this is an unrequited love
where there will be no happily ever after
and I just cant tell
how incredulity always seeps in
for this heart was once severely incised

yet, I still wish to just close my eyes
and see a whole new world through yours
for my indulgence towards you is unremitting
just like a sweet toother
always craving
and thirsting
for more?

I Did Not Die

do not stand at my grave and weep
i'm not there and i do not sleep
i'm a thousand winds that blows
i'm the diamond glimpse of snow
i'm the sunlight on ripened grain
i'm the gentle autumn's rain
do not stand at my grave
i am not there and i did not die

The Sky Is Falling

it's coming down
these clouds could never save me
from such a juggernaut of weight
the shadow is forming on the pavement
the sky is falling

somebody save me
i need to be strong enough
not let fear decide my fate
this terror will fuel my haste
run quickly, run!
the sky is falling

An Angel Has Spoken

i picture you in a dress you wore last week
when I was there in front of you
did you hear my heartbeat?
fluttering like butterflies searching for a drink
i wish I had the chance to know you more
more than I could know

it was pouring a thousand roses
when you kissed a smile at me
sending me up to the heavens
then i'll still be searching
for the soft whispers of your sight

sometimes days drag on
in this river of ice
incapacitating me inside
i'll be waiting for another day
for the warmth that will thaw me free
if you would touch me then you'd know
i've never felt so lonely till i met you

Gloomy Sunday

and all is pale
with the rushing shower & swirling steam
exhaling the heat of sorrows
vapours befoul the mirror
cunningly misting the windows
hence clouding the bleak moon

it still tries to gleam
but no, it stays helpless
weighted down so dreadfully
by this amalgam of affliction
leaving a huge smudge
in that ruby red heart

not ever to let go now
in search for bliss
as sorrow will sprout woe
when the day just ain't that fine

The Day is Fine

the soft sound of winds
caresses her hair
it's so serene
when it dances gently
as tho it's so keen
to sweep her shoulders
off any sorrows unseen

the soft beam, of this evening sun
brings out every life
hidden within her eyes
and now it shines
spelling out every bliss
one could possibly find

when the silence starts to sing
senses are brought to thought
but what does she feel
leaves me to a question
if the day is that fine

i want

i just want to see you
when you're all alone
i just want to catch you if I can
i just want to be there
when the morning light explodes
on your face it radiates
i just want to be there
when we're caught in the rain
i just want to see you laugh not cry
i just want to feel you
when the night puts on its cloak
this is my incision
therein lies my heart
wanting you so much

Mesmerise

i could spend hours
gazing at her
just watching her live, walk, breathe
lulled by the swing of her skirt
inebriated by the fabric
sliding against her body
this could last a lifetime

Smile

smile
and my soul becomes a ray of light
sing me a lullaby to sleep in midnight
turn off the room lights
hypnotized by your eyes
no where to hide
let's spend the night

take me far away
away to your secret place
take my tears my fears
take all my pain
i'll repay someday with a kiss and say

...sigh, what should i say?

wishfully you'll smile endlessly
to every sweet delight
like you always do
though...
i haven't the slightest clue
if i'm actually in love with you...

Dream

I lie on the ground,
and stare into space,
the stars start to move,
into the shape of your face.

I see you there now,
looking down at me,
with that cute little smile,
that I like to see.

We're walking the shoreline,
with our feet getting wet,
the horizon turns pink,
as the sun starts to set.

We make love through the night,
on that white sandy shore,
then I hold you while thinking,
I could want nothing more.

Oh I wish I could be,
in that one special place,
as I lie on the ground,
and I stare into space...

Perfection

never knew perfection till
i heard you speak
with a sprinkle of your smile
it kills me, to hear you
at every turn
what can i do?

oh my sparkling gem
let us walk hand in hand
along the beach with golden sand
in a far far away land
is it too much to ask for?

winds of spring fills the air
it's you i wanna care
wanna hold you
don't you let go
i'm here, are you there?

now it's beyond me
i'm sorry i can't
carry myself to you
nothing could be changed
is it all still too late?

Old Tree

bleached broccoli with strands of ebony
hunched frame frail twigs
lifting that cigarette
and puffs, like a burning plant
nothing more to want
everything has unfold
nothing more to be told
all's left, dried leafy smiles
wind blows, still untouched

Toothbrush sex

Saddest Song

Should have said something,
But I've said it enough,
My words are now fading,
Why does your heart always stands above?

Give me a sign, this is just my fear
Waiting for eternity, alone in this world so cold
Lonely times grow lonelier
Darkest hours blankets me in these shadows
When will I set myself free
out of these chains of gloomy times
I've tried & tried, but nothing ever rhymed

Where did it go wrong?
Why are you still so strong?
Nothing can mend this broken heart
This is the wrist I long to cut
And here is my saddest song

Dealova

Aku ingin menjadi mimpi indah dalam tidurmu
Aku ingin menjadi sesuatu yang mungkin bisa kau rindu
Karena langkah merapuh tanpa dirimu
Oh karena hati tlah letih

Aku ingin menjadi sesuatu yang selalu bisa kau sentuh
Aku ingin kau tahu bahwa ku selalu memujamu
Tanpamu sepinya waktu merantai hati
Oh bayangmu seakan-akan

Kau seperti nyanyian dalam hatiku
Yang memanggil rinduku padamu
Seperti udara yang kuhela kau selalu ada
Hanya dirimu yang bisa membuatku tenang
Tanpa dirimu aku merasa hilang

by Once

Gloomy Friday

Circles are, circles be
no matter how I try
I'm never free
give me wings, make me fly

Put me to sleep
take away my eyes
no more can I bear to see
visions of you, eating me

Sorrow is getting sore
now numb is what I wish for
take away my heart
make me feel no more

I beg for my old self
when the sun still shines
and winds still blow
one thing to know though
the soul no longer glows.

A Star

The star which I saw
Was beyond sight's reach
It's hard to take a breath
Without feeling it glow
Trying to touch it
But it's slowly drifting
Like chasing conceded times
I'm not giving up
For it's a beautiful mystery
And I know